PuterPlane (an extremely tiny setting): landmarks: MATTERHERZ


  • Looks like mountains, but aren't
  • Actual a short sound sample (22 KHz, 8 bit, mono) on pause
  • Each Matterherz pseudo-mountain belongs to one specific being on the PuterPlane, be it person, animal or AI. Upon death, the sound sample will resume play, and thus change the landscape
    • The sample is potentially loud; been known to knock people on their arse, and even make certain bots skip a cycle

PuterPlane (an extremely tiny setting): weapons and doodads (part 0x01)

Cathode-Ray Gun

  • Small Beam weapon
    • Smallest amount of damage
    • Concentrated attacks may inflict X-ray radiation on the target
    • Shots may be scattered when magnetic fields are present, making it an unreliable weapon 
  • Often built from scrap
    • The cathode-ray part can be salvaged from Monitorhead monsters such as ABC 80-WAYS2DIE and Commodoreberus
    • Needs a power source
      • Pedal-powered generators are popular and easy to construct

Mutated capacitors

  • Lick them to release their energy (save vs. shock; fail = heart stops, success = table below)
    1. Become illuminated for 1d6 hours (known as a Hartley curse)
    2. Index finger is charged; stored energy will be released upon first touch (roll on this table again, affects touched target)
    3. Your ears goes into hyper-signal-filtering the next 1d6 hours, making any type of spoken language ("noise") clear and understandable to you (not the exact words, but the general meaning)
    4. Reverse hyper-signal-filtering: speak only pink noise for the next 1d6 hours. Speaking in this mode will most likely attract KORG WORGS
    5. Flatten out any sudden change in violence: damage done to/by you cannot differ more than 1 point from the previous damage inflicted (unless this is the first damage done). E.g., if the previous hit inflicted 5 points of damage, and the next hit would do 2, it will instead do 4, and so on.
    6. You can summon a very weak gØlem by taking two equally sized metal plates, making them almost touch, and then separate them slowly. The space between them will open a portal, summoning the gØlem known as DIE!!lectric.

Wikipedia monster manual

TL;DR Replace random Wikipedia page with monster name. That's your fluff.

1. Choose a monster at random either from head or from here

3. Replace the word after "is a ..." with your random monster (normally the first sentence)

The 5e warlock patron and its little running messenger

Poor Cartero
(postman from The Legend of Zelda)
In an upcoming 5e game, I'm playing a tiny warlock named Merla.

And like all warlocks, Merla needs an otherworldly patron (page 107 in the PHB). I haven't decided on which one, but it'll probably be some sort of fiend.

According to the PHB, the patron whom you struck this pact with, grants you these powers in exchange for favours you need to carry out (burn this village of peaceful rabbits, tease your sister, eat a bowl of maggots under one minute, and so on).

This is what I'm thinking for Merla's fiend patron:

  • It's the loneliest fiend in the world
  • It communicates with Merla through handwritten letters, delivered by the always-on-the-run-always-out-of-breath maildaemon Cartero MMMDCLXVI
  • When the fiend grows tired of a warlock, it will try to lure him/her to come visit it in its extremely lonely castle - only to kill and turn the warlock into the next Cartero (that is, Cartero MMMDCLXVII)
  • The fields surrounding the castle is crowded with former Carteros. Since their services are no longer needed, they've built small mailboxes out of whatever (bones, stones, almost dead birds), and spend all day delivering stuff (junk) to each other
  • The fiend "dabbles in poetry", so bad that the paper it writes them on turns into horrible, soul tormenting spells